Good friend, bad girlfriend

WHEN contemplating my singlehood, I sometimes bemoan the fact that some of my best female friends are already hitched, and I wonder what could have been if I had met them earlier.

Not any more, for now I've learnt what it could have been: Painful.

The odd thing is that some of these girls seem to turn into entirely different creatures when they are around their boyfriends or husbands.

Around good friends, they are jovial, caring and lots of fun to be with. Yet around their significant other, they unleash strange — and unpleasant — sides I have never seen before.

My first experience was with a Taiwanese girl whom I met while I was working in the United States four years ago.

With her lanky frame, geek-chic glasses and cool demeanour, she exuded a kooky charm that reminded me of the actress Uma Thurman and we hit it off.

When my four-month work stint ended, I visited her in Taiwan.

I met her boyfriend on the third day. That was also when I witnessed her turn from Uma Thurman in The Truth About Cats And Dogs to Uma Thurman in Kill Bill.

It started when we were going for dinner. The poor fellow showed up 15 minutes late while we were waiting for him at a subway station.

When she spied him arriving out of the corner of her eye, a scowl appeared on her face. He repeatedly apologised for being late — once to me and maybe like a 100 times to her.

"Why are you late?" she snapped at him in Mandarin.

He mumbled something about picking up some items, to which she replied coldly: "That's not an excuse."

I suppose this isn't entirely horrible, considering that he was in the wrong, after all. Maybe she was a real stickler for punctuality. But then I had another experience with a friend who has been married for four years.

This time, the poor chap didn't even do anything wrong.

At a party she threw at her house, a group of us were just settling down for dinner. We didn't really know her husband so he was left to do his own thing.

After a while he came up to us while we were having drinks and I think he might have made some comment about the food.

I can't remember exact details because they were completely overshadowed by my friend's reaction.

After breathing a heavy sigh, she rebuked in a stern voice: "Yah, whatever lah. Not funny." He was about to say something when she continued: "Go and read your book, lah."

Now any man will tell you that if you're going to put him down like that in front of all your friends, you might as well just take out your whip and start flogging him.

A few uncomfortable seconds passed. Then I think I heard a whimper as he retreated to his bedroom.

I've been trying to understand this schizophrenic, Jekyll-and-Hyde behaviour from otherwise wonderful women. It's possible, I suppose, that familiarity breeds contempt.

My Taiwanese friend had a different take. A few days after that incident, I asked her if she was always so difficult with her boyfriend.

"Yah of course I have to be tough with him. He's the one who will be taking care of me for the rest of my life. I can't apply the same standards I do with my friends," she said.



I can't help but wonder: Doesn't it make more sense to treat the love of your life better than your friends?

As for me, I doubt I'll think about what could have been with my female pals any more.The Straits Times/ANN