Lending a helping hand to cancer patients

A heavy burden on your back is always difficult to carry on your own. That's what shoulders are for. Other people's shoulders, that is. For you to lean on, for you to cry on. In short, for support. No one should have to carry a huge burden all on their own.

Every human being needs support, and no one more so than those who come head to head with their own mortality, those people who are literally fighting for their lives.

Cancer is the No 1 killer in the country, with an average of 300 new cases recorded each year. With this in mind, our humanity should be crying out to lend support to those who battle cancer everyday.

A cancer support group or a national cancer society can go a long way towards helping cancer-stricken people gain emotional and educational help as they battle the deadly disease.

Cancer patients who attend support groups tend to lead good lives and survive longer than those just receiving medical treatment alone. This is simply because a support group complements the medical aspect of treatment.

In 2004, Brunei established the non-profit organisation Breast Cancer Support Group (BCSG), members of which have since then been going around conducting roadshows to educate the public, and especially students, on cancer awareness.

Since there are many kinds of cancer, there should be a support group for each kind.

"It is not easy to set up," said Dr Hj Muhd Syafiq Abdullah, oncology specialist at the National Cancer Centre (NCC) in Jerudong Park Medical Centre (JPMC).

According to the oncologist, cancer support groups should be driven and initiated by people who possess the passion to help fight cancer, such as cancer survivors or those who have lost family members to the disease.

The BCSG was formed by doctors from Ripas and it is now run by cancer survivors alone with occasional help from the medical community.

Dr Hj Muhd Syafiq said although nurses are also part of the team, the group is now led by those with the passion to help others fight cancer. He said that cancer survivors are the best people to run support groups as "their passion will never be exhausted".

According to Dr Hj Muhd Syafiq, cancer is now a big issue that even the United Nations (UN) will be focusing its summit next year.

"We need to politicise cancer or else it won't be taken seriously," said Dr Hj Muhd Syafiq, pointing out that the notable and well-publicised non-governmental organisations in Brunei are those backed by prominent figures.

Even the BCSG has to depend on donations from the public to survive or ask for contributions such as free floor space to conduct roadshows and exhibitions.

He emphasised that cancer support groups or a national cancer society would need to be supported by a well-known figure in Brunei with the help of other people to run its daily activities to ensure that it is well-publicised, well-funded and that it will survive.

Many studies have shown that support groups can help people with cancer feel less depressed and anxious and more hopeful.

Those with cancer need a good support system to deal with the most difficult time in their lives and a cancer support group can help them in the emotional aspects by providing a setting in which to share experiences and learn from others who may be going through similar situations.

More importantly, these groups can also deal with the practical aspects of the disease by providing members with practical and current information regarding available treatments, what to expect during treatment and how to manage treatment side effects and pain.

"When a cancer patient receives their diagnosis, it affects them all over... and if they have any questions, where can they go?" Dr Hj Muhd Syafiq said, adding that when a patient seems to having a hard time dealing with their situation, the doctors often contact cancer survivors to counsel them.

When people with cancer seek and receive help from others, they often find it easier to cope, and this is particularly effective when that help comes from someone who has gone through a similar experience.

Different patients react differently to their own unique situation, but all need some kind of support to help them get through it.

Dr Hj Muhd Syafiq said some young cancer patients aged 11 to 15 years old just gave up on life and stopped going to school upon hearing their diagnosis.

Others scream at their doctors, needing an outlet to vent their frustrations and needing to put the blame on somebody.

These cases prove the need to give support to Brunei cancer patients, and not just those who suffer from cancer, but those on the other side of the coin as well; the caregivers, significant others and family members. These people have a special role and are often exhausted, therefore they also need special support and recognition, and a chance to replenish themselves emotionally.

"I have witnessed firsthand how cancer can not only affect the sufferer, but also those close to them, who sit by their side every day to watch them battle this horrible disease," said Norliza Shamsul, who lost her mother to cancer a few years back.

She recalled the long gruelling months when she and her family would take turns to accompany her late mother to her chemotherapy sessions or sit by her hospital bed, holding her hand and assuring her that she has their support.

"This whole process can be very heavy on a caregiver and could also impact their mental state of being," said Norliza, pointing out that people don't often realise that caregivers also go through emotional distress, depression, guilt, stress and exhaustion.

Norliza found however that talking about it with others who have gone through the same heartache can go a long way to helping relieve some of these burdens.

"Without releasing my emotional turmoil out to a caring ear, I think I might have been a manic depressive. No one should have to go through that heartache and pain alone."

With the many constraints and difficulties that come with setting up a support group, Dr Hj Muhd Syafiq believes that Brunei students studying in the US or UK who are in Brunei for summer holidays can be of major help in this area.

"Brunei retirees should also become volunteers," said the oncologist, adding that government retirees could use their knowledge to help in the setting up of a cancer support group or national cancer society.

Dr Hj Muhd Syafiq pointed out that rather than having nothing to do, retirees could become useful members of society by involving themselves in charity. The health authorities, he said, are also trying to get retired nurses to share their time to charity works.

"They (retirees) don't have to commit 100 per cent to the cause, they can still contribute in a different way," he said.

However, it is not a Bruneian's nature to stand up and talk or share their feelings with a group of people, which is why a one-on-one counsel session might be more well-received than a group, said Dr Hj Muhd Syafiq.

In this regard, many turn to the Internet for support rather than to a physical support group as the Internet provides anonymity which makes it easier for those feeling self-conscious to participate.

The worry, however, is whether patients are getting correct information from these websites, forums or chat groups on the Internet and if it is a legitimate site.

Cancer patients can be vulnerable and may find themselves getting into a situation where someone is trying to sell them a miracle cure or promising results from some form of alternative medicine.

Therefore, it is of utmost importance to know that these Internet support groups are coming from a credible source. Patients are advised to do a bit of research before they get involved with one to ensure that it is legitimate.

Another problem with support found on the Internet, according to Dr Hj Muhd Syafiq, is that it lacks emotion. Patients, he said, need to be able to look into a person's eyes and "to laugh, smile and cry" with them.

The Brunei Times