Tips on raising fearless child

EVERY child has a varying amount of fear; some are normal fears of childhood while others are not.

Some amount of fear in a child is understandable and healthy, like fearing the fire for it burns.

A child in his early years may show signs of fear when hearing a sudden noise or something falling. The intensity of the fear may vary according to the intensity of the child's imagination.

However, the child may develop fear of harmless things, like darkness, water, stairs and gathering with other people. These fears can result from a number of factors:

The parents scaring the child with ideas of ghosts, shadows or strange creatures.

Relating stories or fairy tales that have evil and imaginative characters in them.

Raising the child in isolation and keeping him secluded — away from people

Children are imitators of their parents and pick up phobia from their parents.

What can parents do before the children pick up and develop unhealthy fears?

(a) Always train the child to believe in Allah, worship Him and turn to Him in all situations of fear and anxiety.

(b) Do not scare him with imaginative characters, ghosts and animals. Always remember the Hadith of Allah's Messenger (Peace be upon him), "The strong believer is better and is more loved by Allah than the weak believer." (Sahih Muslim)

(c) Give the child responsibilities and allow him to work it out himself. Also, allow him to meet and mix with other people and get to know them.

(d) Instil courage and bravery in the child by relating to him true stories of our pious-predecessors.

(e) Give the child an opportunity to get to know the thing that he is frightened of, for example, if he is afraid of water, allow him to play with little water in a bowl, if the child fears the dark; the parent may allow him to play with the light-switch, turning it off and on...

Fear of Dark

Generally children show fear when the parents separate their bed. So, you may...

(i) Use a night light, but experiment with its placement to be sure that it does not create frightening shadows.

(ii) After the light is out, stay with her for a few minutes and talk about how different things look. A curtain blowing in the breeze looks very different at night than it does during the daytime.

(iii) Leave the door to the child's room slightly open and tell him you won't be far away.

AHYA