Discovering your child's disabilities

BABY Anisah's parents were delighted when the doctors delivered her and told them that they had another healthy girl. The pregnancy had been uneventful and the delivery was without complications.

At eight months old she was able to roll over, sit up and reach for things just beyond her grasp. At one year she was walking but was not making any talking sounds. Friends told her parents it was just because her older sister did all the talking for her and that little Anisah would catch up soon.

The doctors reassured them that their daughter had a healthy body with no hearing or obvious problems with her voicebox or tongue. "She'll be fine," they said.

By the time she was two years old, Anisah's parents became more concerned as it was increasingly apparent that their daughter was not developing like other children her age. Her physical development was fine but she was still not talking.

Again, friends reassured her parents that many kids don't talk until after they are two. So, when she entered school at the age of five and still was not talking, the school had Anisah assessed by a psychologist who found that she had excellent receptive language skills and was very bright and capable of speaking. The psychologist recommended a programme that would likely have her speaking within a few months. Her parents were elated but frustrated that they had not learned of this years earlier.

Sadly, because she did not speak, Anisah was not spoken to as much as other children. She was cared for like an infant by her parents and their amah that spoiled her to avoid having her cry when she was frustrated. She was treated as though she was intellectually deficient.

As a result, she was deprived of important learning opportunities and was far behind her peers in terms of her knowledge of the world, her social skills and her ability to do things for herself.

The story of Anisah is like the story of many, many other children who are developmentally delayed or develop differently. When parents worry, friends and family offer reassurances because it is easier than accepting that a child may be different. These false reassurances only serve to delay important interventions that in many cases can help children to "recover" to the point where they may be virtually indistinguishable from their peers.

Developmental disabilities vary greatly in nature. An increasing number of children are challenged with autism or Asperger's Disorder, both Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Children with ASD develop qualitatively differently than other children. In other cases, children may suffer a global intellectual disability (sometimes referred to as mental retardation) where they develop more slowly than other children and will not achieve the same levels of functioning. Still other children have learning disabilities that may affect one part of the process of perceiving, processing, storing and outputting information. Such disabilities, for example, can affect the learning of language, but allow a child to do mathematics and perform visuospatial tasks without any problems.

When a child lives with a disability it does not mean that the child will not lead a rewarding, fulfilling and satisfying life. Many such children will become extremely socially gifted, productive in their chosen occupation and satisfied in their lives. This usually depends on the degree to which their education and environment are customised to meet their needs.

Psychologists, parents, doctors and researchers have developed many specific interventions and supports such as special education programmes, ABA, technical aids and others. Many parents are astounded by how relatively simple interventions can have a huge impact on their child. However, the wrong intervention can cause more harm than good to a child's development. Therefore, before any intervention is undertaken, it is essential to understand the nature of that child's disability. For this reason a proper assessment is vital when you suspect that your child is not developing as anticipated.

Parents should not be put off by those who downplay their concerns, nor should they be reassured that simply because their child is in good physical health, all is well. A parent's intuition is generally correct.

If you suspect developmental delays or notice development that is markedly different than expected, contact your family doctor first. Rule out any physical problems, especially problems with hearing, vision, motor skills, muscle tone, strength, balance, etc. The next step if a GP is unable to help you is to contact a paediatrician. They often have more experience in a typical child development. If they do not locate any physical problems, they may refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist who can test your child for developmental delays or disabilities that are mental rather than physical.

Although medical staff, psychologists and psychiatrists are professionals and it is easy to defer to them, be sure to ask questions and ensure that you are fully satisfied with what you learn. If you are not satisfied and feel there are issues with your child that have not been addressed, seek a second opinion. Investing the energy to either discover the problem or put your mind at ease is well worth it. The Brunei Times