Students are afraid of counselling

CONFIDENTIALITY plays a crucial role in a student's decision to consult a counsellor in school regarding any problems that they may have.

The Brunei Times asked a few students from different secondary schools to ascertain why students view a school counsellor with fear and doubt.

For Nurfatin Hj Masri, 15 from PAP Hjh Rashidah Saadatul Bolkiah Secondary School, Lumut suggested that there is a common feeling amongst students that counsellor are scary beings by nature and students fear them in school for a variety of reasons.

"One reason is that the school counsellors are also the teachers for certain subjects and it is for this reason alone that the majority of students have second thoughts about approaching them," she said.

This rational fear is caused by the possibility that whatever the students convey to the counsellor will not be kept between them and thus they fear that their words can be repeated to other members of the faculty as well as students.

Bibi Amal Hayati Hj Mahmud, 16 reiterated that she would only approach a school counsellor if she was very desperate to confide in someone. She admitted that "if there is no one to turn to, then I would normally keep it to myself."

As to the role of peers in terms of confidant's to personal problems, the majority of students approached by The Brunei Times, chorused out their agreement that "most of the time" friends are usually the first person they turn to when they are in need.

Quickly followed would be parents said Muhd Alif Omar, also a student from PAP Hjh Rashidah Saadatul Bolkiah, Lumut.

"I have a close relationship with my parents so it is not a difficult task for me to approach them when I have problems, be it academic or social," he said.

But he admitted that he is one of the few lucky children who have a good rapport with his parents but for others this is not always the case.

In a recent Counselling and Career Guidance for Vocational and Technical Institutions workshop held at the Civil Service Institute, Ali Yusri Abdul Gafor from the Department of Schools, spoke of the importance of communication in order for students to be able to relay their problems to counsellors.

The method of listening and being able to understand what students are going through plays an important part of counselling.

Dk Nuratiqah Pg Hj Mohammad from Sayyidina Husain Secondary School said that "the problem with school counsellors is that they are often the teachers for certain subjects that we see almost everyday and this in turn makes it awkward."

She explained that it becomes awkward because these teachers often judge the students and during class, they unintentionally treat the said student differently for being troubled.

She explained her experience when she approached a counsellor regarding her problems and the said counsellor started patronising her and gave examples of herself during classes hinting that she 'never did those kinds of things'.

"Some counsellors need to understand that this is a different society than the one the counsellors went through during their school days and to make us students feel like we are useless beings when we could hardly muster the courage to see the counsellors in the first place, is very sad," she added.

Another point of view that was offered was by Rayyand Rosland, 15 who is also from Sayyidina Husain Secondary School said "it is important for counsellors to be really understanding instead of giving advice to us half-heartedly or even worse, scolding us for making mistakes in a very condescending tone."

The problem with youth today is that they are not all willing to speak to someone with authority such as a school counsellor and more than often turn to their peers for advice. But what one needs to understand is that the advice of peers may not necessarily be good. Nuratiqah suggested that peers tend to give out bad advice too and lack of sage advice from anyone usually leads to students to close up and keep any problems to themselves.

Rayyand added that "when students have too much trouble built up inside, they feel as if they don't have anyone to speak to and sometimes, this is the reason why youths today resort to drug use as it makes their problems go away, even if for a little while."

The Brunei Times